Regrets and "I Told You So" Part 1

An old friend, Swiss ( I call him that 'cause he's a watch fanatic) came to visit "the villa" (the name I've given my apt.). Now this old friend is from college, and is now married to his college sweetie (CS).
Here's some background.
In college, Swiss and his best friend from HS, and me and my 2 best friends all hung out together...constantly. We smoked doobies, drank Guinness and Sam Adams Cherry Wheat, listened to Bob Marley, and watched reruns of Good Times. We were all inseparable. Those were the best of times. We were introduced by my then next door neighbor, "ill-Willy" from Philly. Our relationship has always been...interesting. He called me a nerd and a bookworm. I called him a slacker. It was all in great fun. I never thought my life could get any better. We all knew about CS, had even met her on several occasions, but she was never as cool as we were. We were family. We all graduated from college and scattered to the 4 winds but Swiss and I remained in touch, me being his only link with the other girls. I moved to Cali and back, we would catch a happy hour here and there, or beer festival. We weren't in school anymore we had jobs etc. He was still dating the CS, had just bought his first car, and was still living at home. He was finding his way. I fully expected him to call me up and say he was moving into his own pad.

Although our relationship had been platonic...at one point, (damn!, ok, he was my first! Don't ask it's another post entirely)we did become intimate. However, we managed to remain friends even when we were no longer intimate. Our affair was brief but very intense and passionate. I broke it off because I felt weird about him still being involved with his girlfriend ( I was young, inexperienced, and maybe even a bit reckless then). Through it all we remained friends... good friends. Swiss was there for me when my father passed away. That's a real friend. He never tried to cross the boundary I had placed on our relationship.
After my Dad's passing, I checked out socially for a few months... no phone calls, no going out, no nothing. I needed time to mend my broken heart( this has yet to happen, by the way). Swiss called constantly, leaving voice mails to see what was up and to check on me... to tell me some important news. I didn't call back right away, but one day I finally did. Swiss shared the "good news" that he was getting married. Needless to say I was surprised, even a little confused. Swiss was WAY TOO YOUNG to be getting married. I asked why the hurry...another bomb..." "we just closed on a house." I'm thinking "is she knocked up?"

Now you may ask why I was confused about this "good news". The confusion was due in part to some of the discussions we (the family)had back in the old college days about how the CS wasn't real fond of the sex act. Knowing what he had shared with all of us, I was wondering why he would form a union with someone the complete opposite of himself in that particular area. So Swiss was engaged, bought a house and was getting married soon... all in one phone call. I was floored! Over the course of the next couple months ( as the big day came closer and closer), the REAL story ( or his side of it) begins to come to the surface.

1. CS gave him the "we've been together x years, it's time we got married" speech.
2. Her parents gave them the down payment on the house- he had nothing to do with it.
3. Swiss feels trapped...He knows he should back out/postpone but the invitations have gone out.He feels "stuck."
4. Swiss feels deeply for someone else...ME!

Well, what's a girl to say...especially when she feels the same as he does but pushed it aside long ago, (because prior circumstances hadn't been right) trying to do the "right thing?" I did what any real friend would do given the circumstances. I asked him if taking this huge step was what he REALLY wanted to do. His reply of "feeling stuck" was voiced again.

It was then that I knew it was all a mistake...he was making a BIG mistake!
Knowing everything about his feelings for the whole thing...the wedding, the house...me, Swiss had a decision to make. A choice, if you will. He could choose someone he wasn't truly compatible with, or he could choose me... the one person who understood and accepted all his quirks, bad habits, and craziness and didn't want him to change who he was.

March of '99, he made his choice...It wasn't me.