Merry Go Round...Of Life

Often I feel as if I'm presented with the same scenarios over and over in life and just as I've gotten older I wonder at the meaning of it. Do we get presented with the same life lessons over again if we never learned the lesson the first go around? I'm beginning to think we do but I only just now realized it!

What happens if we are so stuck in the same pattern of doing what we always do, that we can't break the cycle, and stop the insanity? I worry about not being able to learn from my mistakes and having to repeat the same scenarios over again. Who wants to feel like they never get it? While part of me loathes the idea of having to re-learn life's lessons, there is another part of me that doesn't want to sit out on the sidelines of life because I might miss an important lesson the first go round.

Over the years I have been good at living... living vicariously through friends as they go through their life drama. I have been good at trying not to make the same mistakes I saw others make... because I saw how much it devastated, how hard it was to rebuild some semblance of normalcy. I have pretty much remained "untouched" by true drama. I don't know if that's good or bad. Oh, there have been snippets, here and there, but nothing of the magnitude of others in the circle of friends. While I was always been supportive and non-judgmental, I never wanted to be where the other person was.

Having remained somewhat unscathed, leads me to whole different set of worries. Will my life "drama" come later because I haven't yet experienced the storm? While everyone else is having it finally all come together, will I be falling apart? If so, then it will it be that much more difficult for me to get through it because everyone else has been there and done that and is not looking to deal with going down that road again.

I know that I have no desire to create drama for drama's sake, I also know I don't want every day to be Ground Hog Day either. Do we ever just get it or is life a continuous merry-go-round that we stay on until we puke and pass out trying to get off?