Marriage...The Sinking Ship

Maybe it's just me... but I know very few happily married people. I can count one hand the number of couples that don't regret the day they said "I do." I think that is real sad! Everyday more and more of my friends are either getting hitched or knocked up or both. The married ones aren't happy. Don't they know they are REALLY making me rethink the marriage thing?

Why is everyone so eager to jump into marriage? From what I hear marriage is hard work, so why are so many running toward the altar like junkies to the pipe? What is so great about it? I have heard many horror stories lately, from the couple sleeping in separate bedrooms (who just had a child) to the couple who doesn't spend any time together and are now separated. I could go on! Was this what they were all running to? I wonder!

I had dinner with my friend K on Friday night... She smart, beautiful, level-headed and she's got her shit together. Her main goal in life is to be someone's girlfriend and then someone's wife. What I don't understand is why she is in such a hurry. Now I don't want to knock anyone's dream BUT I think that if these are your main goals in life then that is VERY sad! What happens when all that has been accomplished? Then what? There has to be more to life than being someone's girlfriend or wife! Why are you defining yourself by your relationships... or lack thereof? Women tend to do this A LOT! Why do women think that their value is somehow inherent on them being in a relationship/married? It's as if a woman could not be COMPLETELY FABULOUS unless she had a man or a ring. Pish Posh!

Sure, I want to be able to grow older with someone, and maybe one day I'll get married, but that is not the main goal in my life. I would be happy just to find someone who didn't bore the hell out of me after a couple weeks/months and could lay the pipe fairly frequently!

Whatever happened to getting to know yourself, finding out what you do and don't like and having a love affair with yourself? Whatever happened to establishing who you are first? These are essential pieces of the puzzle that need to be addressed before we start asking other people to be a part of our lives.

I am in no way a "down with love" girl. I have seen some couples get married and make it work. No doubt they are encountering the same day to day struggles as the rest, but I have to wonder if they took the time to be true to themselves before taking the plunge. I also have to wonder whether the couples having problems and friends now divorced took the time to be true to themselves.

At any rate, the whole idea of marriage to me is something akin to the Titanic... a ship going down. Maybe this view will change, but right now... it doesn't look so good.