Messages From The Other Side

I've just returned from a very emotionally charged visit with my Aunt D. Me, my mom, my younger brother, 2 cousins, a cousin-in-law- and my uncle were all assembled in her room. She was resting when we arrived and she slowly came to as we began to arrive and stir within the room. As she began to talk, she told me how rough her night had been. She had been in a great deal of pain that seemed to know no end. I could tell she was in in pain as she spoke and it saddened me to see a woman who was vibrant and a hellraiser brought low by this wretched disease.

She wanted to tell everyone about last night. We all listened intently as she slowly recounted the events of the night. She said that she had asked God to take her... that she was ready to leave this world...that she was tired. She wanted to go. She began talk of "everyone". She had seen everyone last night.

"I saw everyone last night."

"Aunt D, who is everyone?"

" Everyone."

"Can you name some of the people you saw?"

" Momma" (my grandmother)

" You saw Gran?

" Yes"

"Who else?"

" Gus" ( my father)

" Kisha" (her daughter, my 3 yr old cousin killed by a drunk driver in 1985)

" Carl" ( her brother, my uncle that died the same year)

"what were they doing?"

"They were all here talking"

I was quiet for a long moment, and reflected on what she was telling me and what it all meant. She shifted in the bed and said she had a message for me. I begin to think, " a message for me?" She looked at me and in a strong, lucid tone she said....

"Your father wanted me to tell you to stop crying.... there is no need for you to cry anymore. He is very proud of you. You are successful. He is very proud of you."

When she told me what he said about me crying, my eyes immediately filled with tears. No one knows that I still, to this day mourn him as I did 7 years ago. No one knows that I look at his photo everyday and wish that he was here to tell me what to do, give me hugs, change my oil, make bread. No one knows that on October 19, 1998, I suffered a broken heart.

7 years later, my heart is still broken.... but now I know he is proud of me!