Who Are You, Anyway?

I walked a thousand miles while everyone was asleep...nobody's really seen my million subtleties...

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Death Of A Chef

"What happened? What went wrong?"

These are the questions I ask myself as I rouse myself from sleep this morning. This was also my last waking thought last night as I drifted off to sleep. Yesterday was my 31st birthday. It was a good day. I had "Pie Day" at work... apple pie from the Pie Guy!" I had an early dinner and drinks with friends, and my phone rang non-stop all day with calls from friends near and far wishing me a "Happy Birthday" on my special day. As my phone rang with endless calls, there was a call that I did not receive... a call from the Chef.

Ok let me clarify... I actually received 2 calls from the Chef... BUT NOT ONE, NOT ONE F*CKIN' CALL WAS TO WISH ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Asshole! Oh, yeah call me to shoot the shit, but no happy birthday? Give me a f*ckin' break!

So here it is... the weekend of my birthday... we have no plans together, he did not call to even wish me "happy birthday", and he knew it was my birthday, he made other plans that didn't involve me.

He had the audacity to call me this morning to tell me he called me back but he didn't want to tell me happy birthday in a message!

"Uhm... excuse me... so it was better to not send wishes at all? Better yet...you could have given them one of the of other 2 times you phoned! And don't try to back bill with that baldface lie!
I am NOT a fucking idiot!"

I am trying very hard not to scream and spit a littany of profanity!

I am very hurt and angry because this feels like complete disrespect AND a slap in the face! I don't expect a great deal from people, I have learned that when you expect things you get disappointed. And this is definitely one of those times.
But in this situation, IS IT too much to expect the guy you're dating to do something special on your special day? Oh please, tell me if I am making too much of this, if I am over-reacting! Far be it from me to submit to a female fit of pique without proper cause!

I intend to get an explanantion! I want to hear EVERY possible reason why. I will listen and I will not interrupt. I will not fly into a rage. I will not raise my voice. I will give my undivided attention.
THEN... I will tell him EXACTLY how I feel. I will go on to enlighten him about the type of partner I'm looking for in a relationship.

At this point... I have already made my decision.

Tonight I will be having a few close friemds over to the villa for some snacks and a few hands of cards... nothing major. But I will be surrounded by people that WANT to be a part of my life.

The Chef did not receive an invitation, hell, he already had other plans... he f*cked up!

Oh well! His loss... not every man is ready for PRIMETIME, with the HipChick!

Thursday, June 23, 2005

As Another Year Goes By...

I realized I'm getting older.

It isn't a frightening thought, it's just something I've actually had time and was still enough to give some thought to. I still feel like a young girl of 16... I still feel optimistic about life and love. I never want to be one of those people that "feels old." I truly believe that you are only as young as you feel! I wanna always feel young and youthful.

Tomorrow I'll be turning another year older and I wonder why society wants to put us into these little compartments.

"Oh, you're 30, you can't do such and such anymore. Why are you still doing that, you did that when you were 20-something... are still doing that?"

Who says I still can't enjoy the things I did when I was 20-something? Especially since now I can afford to really enjoy those things? It's crazy!

I don't want to be put into box and stuck on a shelf... in a corner..."No one puts Baby in a corner!"

Just because I'm getting older doesn't mean my life is stopping. For me it seems as though it's only getting started, as if I'm just beginning to learn the rules of play, as if I'm finally beginning to live.

Damn, all of those folks that believe life is all down hill after 30... you don't have a clue!
While you're waiting to die, I'll be living, loving, and enjoying every sinful momemt!

Life is Good!

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Highly Annoyed

Today I was highly annoyed... I woke up annoyed and it just carried over into the rest of my day. I read my email...which is a running joke in my office, and became even more annoyed by one of the emails there. This did not lighten my disposition one bit... if anything it made me want to slap a bitch! any bitch! especially that bitch!

Why am I so annoyed... well a few reasons...
1. Everyone expects everything fucking yesterday... two days ago.
2. I'm expected to know the rules without being told... how the hell does this work?
3. I'm supposed to smile and nod when things aren't right... for the other person or the greater good.
4. I'm always expected to make the sacarifice (or at least I feel I am.)
5. I'm not supposed to be angry about... any of it... I should just take it on the chin!

I get real tired of this at times...

One of these days I'm going to tell everyone to piss off (hell, who am I kidding? fuck off!) and not be the real nice, sometimes abrasive ( ok, TG!), BUT always real chick. I often need to reign myself in because no one would like me if I said everything that came into my head... from my mother to one of the bosses at work. Needless to say I try not to be ruled by my ID 'cause I'd probably be unemployed, friendless, and homeless.

But once...just once I'd love for #1-5 to be the exception and not the rule. I'd love to tell someone screaming "hurry, hurry" to kiss my ass!

I'd love to play mind games with the people that love to play mind games. ONLY BETTER AND LONGER!

I wanna say, " hell no" when shit is twisted and people want me to play along.

I wanna say, " sorry can't do it, I don't know what to tell ya".

And once... just once... I want to be able to explode with all the rage and anger I feel so that everyone will know just how bad my anger can be, and they will remember it, and act accordingly.


Monday, June 13, 2005

The Highlight To An Otherwise Stressful and Random Week

Well boys and girls...This tale is about what happens when bloggers get together for blogtinis.

Friday 6/9/05

It's around 2:30 pm... ThatGirl has worked and irritated the last nerve of my last nerve...I am highly annoyed by her... I let her know it... She calls me grumpy, I am secretly calling her "stupid TG" ( guess it's not a secret anymore).

We hang up.
I am still annoyed.

1 hour later... it's her...AGAIN, with the same damn conversation we just had an hour ago. I am ready to slit my wrists, slap her, and "bail" as she affectionately put it.

I resist the urge...breathe, phone Independentgrl to ensure her attendance for the night's activities... and get into another verbal sparring match with TG.

She always has to have the last word! I am having 2 conversations at once. IG is laughing b/c she doesn't have to ask who I'm talking to on the other phone...she knows.

"Fine, fine, 5:30 M&S Grill, I'll be there.

I arrive at 5:45 due to nondrivers in the city and park,walk over to the spot.

TG is there at the bar already with drink in hand (almost finished I might add)... a MANGO MARTINI. I order one as well and we go grab a table to accommodate the throng of bloggers soon to be in our midst.

IG is next to arrive and she too orders a MANGO MARTNI. They are like the nectar of the gods! I would say they are on par wih the famous Bonefish Grill's cadre of martini's! One of the best Martini I've had.

TG proceeds to run down AGAIN the night's line up of players...
Emptyman + date, Jasika + friend, RC666+ and CS+ friend, Blue944 + long time friend. Yeah, yeah TG, I think I got it this time."

Empty is the first to arrive... looking nothing like I expected and being very funny... 'Hey I like this Empty guy... he's pretty cool!" Empty advises me NOT to attend law school.. something about not being able to play well with other people afterwards.

Thanks for the advice , Empty...I guess I do need to be able to play well with others.

Then Empty's date arrives. She seems nice, is wearing a smokin' pair of shoes (well, what do you want from me? check the sidebar dammit!) and all smiles...for Empty. They hang for a round or two but leave as Blue944 and friend arrive for dinner at
The Bicycle . (I think)

Now here's where the story gets fuzzy...at this point I've had several MANGO Martinis and feeling pretty damn good at this point.

Blue944 arrives with longtime friend (LF)...totally unexpected... or maybe the time just flew by. But Blue944 was there... the man of the night. He makes an entrance and breezes in like he's known us all our lives... and it feels that way too.

Blue feels right at home and settles in to make me crack up laughing for the rest of the night! LF joined in too making me laugh hysterically and uproariously. I never met 2 funnier guys!

All of a sudden... I didn't want to slap TG... IG looked to be having a great time too... Blue944 was making me laugh again...Life is good!

Next, RC666 and crew arrive and our party is now taking up 3 round tables. By now Empty is sitting down to Calamari and a great bottle of red wine and RC666 and crew are ordering drinks and food. Their crew is much quieter...possibly feeling a little young with all the older adults chatting.

Finally Jasika and friend arrive. Whoa, Jasika is a knockout and looks like she should be on the cover of Italian or French Vogue. She is very exotic... with a beatiful smile! Her friend was pretty cute too with his mop of curly blond hair. Go Jasika!

A good time was had by all, the party moved to Howl at the Moon, IG and I said our goodnight's and made Blue promise he would come to Vegas.



Needless to say Friday night out with a few random bloggers was the highlight to an otherwise stressful and completely random week!

I loved it and had the best time. Wish I could have stayed out later.