Who Are You, Anyway?

I walked a thousand miles while everyone was asleep...nobody's really seen my million subtleties...

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Searching For The Perfect T-Shirt

Thanks to The Blonde and Independentgrl, I've become obsessed with finding the perfect t-shirt. Not just any t-shirt... but the perfect tee to offend the masses and shock people. I've been searching for a while and I think I found one of many shirts that express just a wee bit of what I'm thinking and feeling.

This is just one of many shirts to come...I may have to get some of them custom made, but by dammit, so be it! I think folks that wear outrageous shirts are real pioneers! Nothing better to break the ice or get a gal noticed than a shirt that says something quirky or slightly offensive.

I could sit and think of shit to put on shirts all day... and as I think about all the people I've come across in the blogsphere I really get inspired! Here's what I came up with for a few of my favorite bloggers...

ThatGirl's shirt would say, " Dude...Skilled!"

Independentgrl's would say. " Are You Really 5'9?

My new friend Marriedman's would say, " I'd Rather Have A Rim Job!"

The Blonde's shirt would say,"REAL Cowgirls Ride REVERSE!"

See what I mean... I could go on and on... but now it's your turn...

I want to see what you come up with... everything is fair game... and PLEASE... no holds barred!

What would your t-shirt say? Oh, boy, I can't wait!

Monday, August 29, 2005


How do you know when it's over?

When it's over you no longer call each other 6 times a day. You no longer stop by and visit. You no longer email. No strange!

So if you were dating someone but broke up, would you still send that person emails... forwards to be more exact? Is it weird to include someone you're no longer involved wih in a forward of any kind?

This is the burning question that I posed to my pit mates this morning. I opened up my Yahoo mail account to see a forward form The Chef.

I'm thinking "OMG, what the f*ck does he want?" so I open his e-mail and have a look see... I see one of those "inspirational" emails entitled..."Daddy's Empty Chair".

How the hell does this pertain to me?

First... I'm not a man....second I don't have any kids... third...you never sent me forwards when we where "dating", so what gives?

The general consensus is that this is merely a ploy to keep the lines of communication open. As 'Chell stated, it's the wuss way out to try and communicate with you without actually growing some balls and calling you."

This isn't the first incidental forward from him. I got one a couple of weeks ago with another forward...I could totally be making a big deal out of nothing BUT if you weren't interested in seeing someone anymore why send them an e-mail?

Another pit mate ( new to this particular area of real estate) asked IF this email nonsense was a ploy to get re-acquainted WOULD I be interested. I had to think for a minute because I had not honestly even considered it a possibility. Who goes back to the person that shows you they can't or won't do what you've asked of them? I'm thinking The Chef would have needed to undergo a major life-altering change in a few short weeks. The odds of such are pretty slim.

On the flip side, this could be perfectly normal in the world of dating but it freaks me out... I think it's more than a little unusual. Maybe this is because when I let you go... YOU ARE GONE! I sever the ties... but I want to know what others feel about this.

Is it ok to email ex's with forwards and other crap if you just recently broke up? If you engage in this practice, what is the motivation behind it? Discuss.

Share your thoughts!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Somebody Stole My Sofa!

The IT guy in my office wears shirts... all kinds of shirts. Some of them cool some of them... not so much. Today he was wearing a shirt that gave me vertigo just looking at him walk by!

Must I shop for everyone?

His shirt looked like he stole someone's sofa and made a shirt. What's funny is that he actually thought he looked "cool" wearing his loveseat. I don't mean to rag on the IT guy... he's new and trying to find his way but I wish he would consult someone before he leaves the house in the morning, he's killing me!

Imagine a shirt that looked something like this:

I'm always giving the IT guy shit about his shirts... it makes the day go by more quickly. He can never tell if I'm insulting him or giving him a compliment... neither can I most times. But I do think it's funny that he thinks he's so "cool in his sofa-shirt!

Ha Ha Ha!

Friday, August 19, 2005

Tag... I'm It!

I was tagged by my favorite Texas superhero... Brighton. This is my first time being tagged so I will try not to muck it up!

1. What is the ratio of sexy panties to granny panties currently in your possession?

I went through a "granny panty" transition about 2 years ago... I'm a thong whore so I'd say maybe 8:1 is about right.

2. Pretend you won one of those "make your dream come true" deals that Oprah is always giving away... what would you ask for?

I'd ask for a supporting role in a movie with an A-list celebrity.

3. Describe your high school days in one word. Slow!
I was the girl that did my own thing. I had associates in all crowds but never really was solid with any particular group. I came into my own in college!(shut up... I know it said one word!)

4. If you could shag any celebrity in the world, who would be your top three picks?

Terrence Howard (Crash)~ He is too hot for words!
Gary Dourdan (CSI)~ I get creamy just looking at him!
Matthew McConnaughey~ He's #1 on my "white men to do" list!

5. If you had all the money in the world... more than you could ever spend in four lifetimes... would you eat some??

No but I would sew cute little shirts with it and put them in frames or hide it library books!

6. Tag Three People... Okay... I tag...





Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Drunk Dials and Miami Soundmachine...

I've been getting a lot of calls lately. Calls from the Kennedy Center, calls from this company in Florida wanting me to consolidate my student loans ( thanks, got it covered), and random calls from Quebec. These calls can be annoying because these people 4-5 times per day. I've asked to be taken off their call lists but I still get calls from these companies... it's very annoying!

But every now and again I get the crazy, off-the-hook call. Whether it is at 9am on a Saturday morning or at 9:30 at night, I can ALWAYS count on
ThatGirl to call with with some craziness.
Do you know this crazy broad just called me singing Miami Soundmachine! Picture this:

HC: "Hello?"

"Come on shake your body baby do that Conga..."


"Hey, you'll never guess what they're playing here"

HC: "Are you drunk?"

TG: "I'm eating Chex mix out of a hotel cup"

TG: "Come on shake your body baby do that Conga..."


TG: "I just videotaped a woman wearing plaid..."

HC: "Are you drunk?"

"Yeah, audioblogger is down... I need it to be fixed right now..."

"Come on shake your body baby do that Conga..."

If TG is anything, she is consistent! During this "conversation" I can not help but laugh my ass off at the constant hilarity she provides. I only get drunk dials from TG but when I do they always manage to make me laugh and shake my head!

Now I've got that damn song in my head... "Come on shake your body baby do that Conga..."


Friday, August 12, 2005

Merry Go Round...Of Life

Often I feel as if I'm presented with the same scenarios over and over in life and just as I've gotten older I wonder at the meaning of it. Do we get presented with the same life lessons over again if we never learned the lesson the first go around? I'm beginning to think we do but I only just now realized it!

What happens if we are so stuck in the same pattern of doing what we always do, that we can't break the cycle, and stop the insanity? I worry about not being able to learn from my mistakes and having to repeat the same scenarios over again. Who wants to feel like they never get it? While part of me loathes the idea of having to re-learn life's lessons, there is another part of me that doesn't want to sit out on the sidelines of life because I might miss an important lesson the first go round.

Over the years I have been good at living... living vicariously through friends as they go through their life drama. I have been good at trying not to make the same mistakes I saw others make... because I saw how much it devastated, how hard it was to rebuild some semblance of normalcy. I have pretty much remained "untouched" by true drama. I don't know if that's good or bad. Oh, there have been snippets, here and there, but nothing of the magnitude of others in the circle of friends. While I was always been supportive and non-judgmental, I never wanted to be where the other person was.

Having remained somewhat unscathed, leads me to whole different set of worries. Will my life "drama" come later because I haven't yet experienced the storm? While everyone else is having it finally all come together, will I be falling apart? If so, then it will it be that much more difficult for me to get through it because everyone else has been there and done that and is not looking to deal with going down that road again.

I know that I have no desire to create drama for drama's sake, I also know I don't want every day to be Ground Hog Day either. Do we ever just get it or is life a continuous merry-go-round that we stay on until we puke and pass out trying to get off?

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Thursday, August 11, 2005

Different Love Languages

I have figured out my "love language."

I have also figured out why The Chef and I didn't work out.

But first, what's this love language stuff?

I recently read a book called
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This book is an excellent read and is a must have for anyone that wants to understand themselves or their loved ones. The book discusses that we each have a primary love language that we use to show those around us that we love and care for them.

The 5 Love Langauges are:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Receiving Gifts
3. Quality Time
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

Oftentimes we don't speak the same love language as our partners or loved ones. But not to worry, even if we don't speak the same love language, we can learn to by understanding how the important people in our lives express love.

I learned that my love language is "Quality time." If you want to express love and speak my language, then spend time with me. Simple, huh?
The Chef's love language is "Acts of Service." He expressed love by performing various acts of service to those in his life. The reason we didn't work out is because we didn't speak the same love language, and although he didn't speak my love language... he didn't seem interested in trying to learn it either.

So we didn't make it.

I am not angry, I'm not even bitter... in fact I feel it was a complete learning experience and further prepared me for the one that will come along that will speak my language or will eagerly learn it.

Go out and find you love language. Get a better, deeper understanding of yourself... and those around you.

What's you're love language?

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

I Was Kissed By Kelly Bell

It's what every self-proclaimed groupie strives for... to be kissed by the lead singer of the band.

I was hugged and definitely kissed by my favorite blues singer... Kelly Bell. Life is definitely good.

Friday evening at the Can Company in Canton. Sitting outside Kiss Cafe watching the "best Blues band in Baltimore" play is how the evening began. It was sunny and hot, weather just right for the blues. KBB is playing, Shell and I have great seats, and I have decided to take pictures of the bands performance.

Out of nowhere storm clouds roll in, it gets dark and the rain POURS down on us. I can not believe this... it was just sunny and hot! We watch as others run into Kiss Cafe to escape the rain and the band does its best to secure the equipment.

Shell and I both stand under an umbrella with others watching the torrential downpour and laughing at the craziness of it all. Soon the others make a bee line for the inside and we are alone under the umbrella...which we soon find out has a hole as it begins to leak on my head.

We continue to comment on the randomness of the event thus far and lo and behold I see him.

Kelly Bell...wearing a wife-beater... drenched, dripping and walking over towards the equipment van. He spots me and makes a bee line over to our umbrella.

Without a word he envelopes me in an embrace and plants a wonderful kiss on my cheek! I almost passed out!

What the hell? Ok, I'll take it!
In those few magical seconds, I took it all in... his dreds... his wet skin... his scent... committing every last drop to memory for an eternity!

We hang out chatting under the umbrella for several minutes and he leaves us to go back to helping the rest of the band secure the sound equipment.

I have just died and gone to HEAVEN!

I guess I really am a groupie now!